Abstract: A.J. Gibson warns missionaries about the danger of loving the ideal of what a church should look like rather than loving the actual church that they belong to and the individuals who are a part of it. Rather than withdrawing from the church, trying to force change, or looking outside the church for fellowship, missionaries should commit to loving the church, model godly church membership, and be willing to serve and be served by their fellow church members. Striving for biblical ecclesiology should always be motivated by a sincere love for our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Sometimes we prefer our idealized concept of a thing more than the thing itself. We fall in love with ideals about friendship, family, progress, justice, or even religion, and we substitute those ideals for the realities that they represent.
We also do this with people. Søren Kierkegaard observed that we can substitute “an imagined conception of how we believe or might wish [a] man should be” and love that vision more than we love “the individual, the actual man.”11 . Søren Kierkegaard, Works of Love, trans. David F. Swenson and Lillian Marvin Swenson (Princeton University Press, 1949), 133. So a man may love his idea of a wife more than he loves his own wife. Or, as a character in Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov confessed, “The more I love humanity in general, the less I love man in particular.” Why? Because while he aspired to love and serve humanity, he acknowledged that he simply couldn’t get past the idiosyncrasies and weaknesses of individual people and so he ended up despising them.
Those of us who deeply love the New Testament’s teaching about the church can easily make the same mistake. We can love our theology of the church without allowing that love to find genuine expression in a specific local congregation.
Loving Our Idea of the Church
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote of this in his classic work Life Together, observing that well-meaning Christians often love their vision for the church more than the church itself.22 . Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, trans. John W. Doberstein (Harper One), 27. Bonhoeffer was on to something. The church, the ekklesia, is not the same as the doctrine of the church (ecclesiology). “Christian community,” Bonhoeffer argued, “is not an ideal, but a divine reality.”33 . Ibid., 26. In other words, the church is a real flesh-and-blood entity—a group of people whom Christ loves and for whom he gave his life (Eph. 5:25). Therefore, our love is misplaced when we hold our theology of the church in higher esteem than our own local church.44 . Notice that in all this I have in view ecclesiology and maybe also a philosophy of ministry. I’m not thinking of those primary doctrines on which Christians must agree (i.e., the Trinity, the hypostatic union, resurrection from the dead, etc.). Withdrawing from churches who err in the major tenets of the Christian faith is an appropriate thing to do.
Sadly, missionaries are not exempt from this mistake, especially those who put a high value on biblical ecclesiology. With a strong commitment to church health often comes strong convictions about how churches should function. That’s not inherently wrong. The problem comes when the national church fails to live up to what we perceive as the biblical ideal. A tension develops between the ideal and the reality. Missionaries respond to this tension in different ways.
Withdrawing from the Church
Some withdraw. Like an annoyed husband who gives his wife the silent treatment, missionaries may pull back from the church because they disagree with it. I’ve seen frustrated missionaries stand on the periphery of church life and activity, refusing to be involved while focusing on their own ministry activity outside the church. But no church is helped by half-hearted, detached members. Believers—especially those who are perceived to be mature (like missionaries)—who are not engaged in the life of the church, who don’t cultivate “one-anothering” relationships, and who don’t serve sacrificially with their gifts, are poor examples of what church life should be.
Forcing Change on the Church
Other missionaries try to force change. To use Bonhoeffer’s words, they bring “a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and try to realize it.”55 . Ibid. They may do this by exerting their intellectual, educational, or cultural “muscle” rather than patiently serving the body and trusting God to do the work through the ordinary means of grace. They act, Bonhoeffer said, as if it’s their responsibility to create the Christian community—as if their “dream binds men together.”66 . Ibid., 28.
Looking Outside the Church
Finally, some missionaries look outside the church for substitutes for what the church should provide them. They lean into other relationships, finding fellowship and encouragement solely in their team or the larger expat community. This enables them to have their relational needs met while not having to invest in the lives of other members of their church. This too is a mistake.
So how do we avoid falling into this trap?
Loving Rather Than Harming the Church
We can begin by recognizing how unhelpful and even dangerous this mistake is. Bonhoeffer argued that people who commit this error often end up doing more harm than good.
He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of that community, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial. . . . He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly.77 . Ibid., 27.
Like the husband who withdraws, tries to force change, or looks for intimacy elsewhere because his wife doesn’t meet his ideals, believers who hold their ecclesiological vision over the head of their local church can end up damaging it. So how do we love our church while still working for its growth and health?
Commit to Loving the Church
Rather than withdrawing, press in. Strive to love your church despite its sins and shortcomings. Don’t make your ecclesiological convictions a condition for loving and serving your fellow members. Commit yourself and your family to working for your church’s spiritual health rather than just dreaming about it. And be patient. You must be willing to labor tirelessly until Christ is formed in your church (Gal. 4:19). Even if you don’t serve as an elder or deacon, contribute in any way you can.
Model Godly Membership for the Church
Rather than demanding change, model godly church membership. Lean into the ordinary means of grace and the New Testament’s “one another” commands. A missionary’s humble, wholehearted participation in church life can have a profound influence on how others interact with the body. Participate in activities like Sunday school, small groups, midweek services, and times of fellowship. Make it clear that you and your family are “all in.”
Serve and Be Served by Your Church
Finally, rather than exclusively pursuing your deepest relationships with believers outside the church, look to your fellow members as God’s means of meeting your emotional, spiritual, and social needs. Pursue people. Love people. Give sacrificially of your time and relational energy. Open up your home. Love and encourage the church’s leadership. This is often one of the best ways a missionary can serve a local congregation. Like Paul, strive to share not only the gospel, but your own self as well (1 Thes. 2:8).
What’s Really Important
For those of us committed to church health, the danger of loving our ecclesiology more than our church is subtle but real. We often get so sidetracked by our interests that we miss out on what’s really important. One of the characters in C. S. Lewis’s The Great Divorce explained how pervasive this tendency is:
There have been men before now who got so interested in proving the existence of God that they came to care nothing for God Himself . . . as if the good Lord had nothing to do but exist! There have been some who were so occupied in spreading Christianity that they never gave a thought to Christ. Man! Ye see it in smaller matters. Did ye never know a lover of books that with all his first editions and signed copies had lost the power to read them? Or an organizer of charities that had lost all love for the poor? It is the subtlest of all the snares.88 . C. S. Lewis, The Great Divorce (Touchstone, 1996), 70–71.
Fellow missionaries, let’s not be so committed to church health that we don’t love the church. It is a subtle snare.
